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Words : DouWata

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Watanuki couldn’t get the expression on Doumeki’s face when the other boy had told him “I love you” out of his mind.</P>

He was currently in the shop’s kitchen preparing supper, but he was chopping the vegetables a little too vigorously.

Doumeki’s gentle, smiling face as he rested his hands, one on each side of Watanuki’s face… “I love you.”

It had seemed so real. But it was impossible. Doumeki had been talking not to Watanuki, but the boy possessing him.

“Please…” The boy using Watanuki’s body cried out in his voice, clutching on to Doumeki’s school uniform. Tears streamed down his face. “I never got to hear it from him…”

Watanuki shook his head. He had never seriously thought of anything like that - boys falling in love with other boys. It sounded like something right out of the yaoi novel that Yuuko had been reading out loud the other day with Maru and Moro repeating the especially spicy bits.

It was probably all Yuuko’s fault that everything happened in the first place.




“Do you have to follow me so closely?!” Watanuki complained, changing his pace to keep ahead of Doumeki.

It was just after school and the two boys were walking home. The walks had actually become enjoyable once Watanuki stopped complaining about Doumeki coming along all the time.

The two continued on in silence, Watanuki eventually slowing his pace and absently moved back to Doumeki’s side, seeming to have forgotten his earlier annoyance.

It was as they were closing in on Yuuko’s shop when it happened. Watanuki was lost in thought and almost ran in to a poll. Doumeki lurched forward as if to grab Watanuki, but Watanuki managed to dodge it at the last second, instead slipping between the poll and the fence.

He stopped on the other side, head down.

“Watanuki?” Doumeki questioned from beside him. When he received no answer, he made to reach out and touch Watanuki’s shoulder.

Watanuki sprang into action. His left hand shot out and latched onto Doumeki’s arm as he jerked his face up and around to star at him.

“Help me!” He beseeched.

“…” Doumeki stared at Watanuki; confusion showing in the way his eyes lowered and then moved to stare at the hand on his arm. He could barely count on one hand the times Watanuki willingly touched him.

“Please, you have to help me. He can’t do it unless you agree.” Watanuki’s eyes squinted suddenly, as if holding back tears.

Doumeki’s eyes narrowed and he removed the other boy’s hand from his arm. “You’re not Watanuki.”

“My name is Kiryuu. I died a few weeks ago. I’ve been waiting ever since for this chance. I only want to talk to my lover one last time before I leave forever…”

Doumeki said nothing. Kiryuu’s’ tears couldn’t be held back anymore, trailing slowly down his cheek and dripping off of his chin.

“I’m sorry for using your friend, but he’s the only one who’s ‘compatible’. Please” The boy cried out making an abrupt move forward and clutching on to Doumeki’s school uniform. “I never got to hear those words from him…”

“If I do this, you’ll give Watanuki back?”

“Yes, he’s fine. He can even see you right now.” Kiryuu scrubbed his hand across his face, sniffling, obviously trying to pull himself back together.

An indefinable expression came across Doumeki’s face. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

There was an immediate change. Doumeki gasped as if coming up from being underwater for a few minutes. His eyes were closed for a moment – but when they opened and saw who was in front of him, his face brightened up and he stepped forward into the open and welcoming arms of his lover.

“Kiryuu…Kiryuu… I thought I’d never be able to feel you again…” There was an audible croak in his voice, holding back his tears. It sounded unnatural in Doumeki’s voice.

“I know, Hiromi. But we don’t have long...” Kiryuu could already feel the pull. He and Watanuki were compatible, but ghosts were not meant to linger in human bodies for long, if it all. It was a gift any ghost would be grateful to receive.

Hiromi stepped out of the hug and looked Kiryuu in the eye. Smiling gently and softly, he reached out to rest his hands on each side of Watanuki’s face. “I love you.”

Kiryuu’s eyes closed, as if savoring the words before locking them into his heart forever.

“I love you, Hiromi.” He finally managed to get out, voice cracking in the middle. Taking one of Doumeki’s hands in his, he directs it up to his lips to lightly kiss the palm.

Abruptly, reality reasserted itself. Kiryuu and Hiromi were gone - on to brighter pastures, leaving two shocked teenagers behind to pick up the pieces.

Watanuki had been able to see everything from the beginning. It had been like looking out of someone else’s eyes, and he’d had no control. It had been the boy’s teary plea that had made Watanuki stop struggling and listen. He was glad he did despite all the extremely embarrassing things that had occurred.

He hated the thought of two people never getting to say goodbye when the chance was there.

Watanuki wondered what Doumeki thought of it all. After they’d been given possession of their bodies back, they had immediately parted ways. More like Watanuki had ran away, face as red as a tomato…

“I…I….UM. LOOK AT THE TIME!” Watanuki didn’t bother with the pretense of looking at an invisible watch. “YUUKO’S EXPECTING ME!” Watanuki said in a forced voice, loud in his nervousness and panic.




“Wa-ta-nu-ki! Is supper ready yet?” Yuuko’s voice sounded out from the other room, followed by a chorus of “ready yet, ready yet!” by Maru and Moro and “I’m hungry, Watanuki!” from Mokona.

“I’m coming!” Watanuki yelled back, an angry tic on the back of his waving hand (though no one was there to see it) ready to burst.

He picked up the tray and carried it carefully into the sitting room where Yuuko was waiting. Before she could ask, he returned to the kitchen to grab the tray of sake.

When he returned, she was holding something out to him.

“I found the newspaper you were looking for.”

Watanuki finished setting the tray down (Yuuko immediately grabbed a bottle) and gingerly took the paper from her, sitting down at the opposite side of the table.

It was a newspaper dated three weeks ago, and header declared in bold letters:


NINE PEOPLE KILLED IN BUS ACCIDENT

Below was a list of the names of the dead, among them two that stood out to Watanuki:

Kiryuu and Hiromi.

The two boys were 16 and 17 respectively and very close childhood friends.


“So?” Yuuko spoke, taking a sip straight from the bottle.

“Hm?” Watanuki looked up, too distracted to get on to her for her bad habits. She never listened anyway.

“Something happened, didn’t it?” Her eyes told him she knew the answer already, and she was giving him the choice about whether he wanted to talk about it or not.

Watanuki took his time in answering. He did want to talk about it, but wanted to save himself from any embarrassment she might lay on him if he admitted anything to her.

Burning curiosity won out, especially since he had no one else to talk to about it besides Doumeki, and… just, no. He was afraid of Doumeki’s answer.

Watanuki could do research on his own, but it was much easier to ask the woman who, while frustrated him, gave honest answers on the things that bothered Watanuki.

“S-so… you know…” Watanuki stuttered, unable to get even halfway through a question.  Yuuko raised an eyebrow, but it managed to look encouraging somehow. “H-homo…”

Yuuko saved him from turning even redder than his face was already getting while trying to squeeze the rest of his words out.

“It happens more than you think.”

It was such a simple phrase, but somehow Watanuki founds himself a lot less tense. He found it ridiculous to think so, but he might have been worried that Yuuko was going to tell him it was completely wrong and immoral to fall in love with another man, despite her particularly interest in it.

After all, Watanuki had never given it serious thought before. Seeing the pure love between the boys had changed something for him, made him think of the possibilities.

Wait, the possibilities of what?

Watanuki shook his head and looked down at the paper again. It had pictures – Ikkyuu and Hiromi shared one. They were standing close together and smiling so brightly at each other that the sun would be blinded if it saw.

“I see.”

Yuuko smiled in secret amusement behind her fourth cup of sake.




The next day, Watanuki made an extra special bentou just in case…just in case Doumeki was mad. After all, it was because of Watanuki’s abilities that he got possessed and forced Doumeki to agree to the same thing to ‘save’ Watanuki.

Doumeki and Watanuki were sitting under a tree across from one another; bentou spread out on the blanket Watanuki had packed.

Himawari had decided to eat with another of her friends, which was slightly unusual, but Watanuki’s mind was too preoccupied for once to notice.

“Did it bother you?” Watanuki blurted out, picking at his bentou.

“No.” Doumeki answered easily, taking another bite of food.

“Why not?”

Doumeki paused, giving it some thought. Watanuki was glad there was something that the other boy needed to think about like Watanuki.

“Why should it? If it had been a girl and a guy, it would have been the same.”

Watanuki’s eyes widened in surprise as he thought about the truth of it. It was such a simple answer (just like Yuuko’s), but Watanuki could find no fault with it. He was eve a little ashamed for even thinking something could be wrong with that pure love.

“Did it bother you?” Doumeki asked in the sudden silence.

Watanuki fiddled with his chopsticks in nervousness. For some reason, he felt that his answer would change things even further.

“N-no. I mean, I never thought about something like that, so it was a surprise – that’s why I ran – but I talked to Yuuko and found out about how they died. They looked so happy in the photo; I don’t see how that could be wrong! And it’d have been awful if they hadn’t gotten to say goodbye and-” Watanuki paused to take a breath, preparing to ramble on further.

“Watanuki.” Doumeki called out, effectively stopping him.

Doumeki’s gentle, smiling face as he rested his hands, one on each side of Watanuki’s face… “I love you, Watanuki.”

“Gah!” Watanuki’s face turned scarlet. That wasn’t how it went! Ignoring Doumeki, Watanuki began quickly gathering up his bentou, trying to take his mind off the shocking idea that he’d wanted Doumeki’s words to be for him. For it to be real, for them.

“Watanuki….”

“What!” Watanuki snapped in false annoyance, jerking around to stare into Doumeki’s face. He’d misjudged the other boy’s position though, and ended up looking right into his eyes instead.

He was caught; he could do anything as, if in slow motion, Doumeki leaned forward and pressed his lips gently into Watanuki’s.

A slow pounding began in Watanuki’s chest, steadily becoming faster until it filled up his head. He could feel the tips of his ears burning.

Watanuki was just getting into the felt of it when he realized his need for oxygen was, unfortunately, too pressing of an issue and pulled back.

“W-what?” He croaked out, placing his hands on his cheeks in the vain hope of sucking out the heat he felt there.

“I like you.” Doumeki head returned to his previous position but had put down his chopsticks.

For once, Watanuki was shocked into complete silence for reasons entirely different than the normal upsetting ones.

Title: Words
Mirror link: FF.Net
Author: Keitorin (a.k.a. Chou ni Natte)
Fandom: xxxHoLiC
Pairings: Doumeki x Watanuki, OC x OC
Rating: PG+
Warnings: TWT (Timeline, What Timeline?), OC x OC
Summary: “It happens more than you think.”
Words: 2,000
Author’s note: This is my first time writing in this fandom, so I hope I did a decent job. I knew exactly where I wanted to go with the pole scene, but managed to surprise myself with it anyway – the end scene as well. I very much enjoyed writing this in any case!
Feedback: Anything is fine; constructive criticism or just comments of “it’s good” are okay, but if you’re going to say something bad, at least give me something I can work with. Ah, and tell me if there's anything wrong with the formatting. Copy-pasting from Microsoft Word has issues. Also, if you have a better title than Words, feel free to tell me.
Note: The idea came from the scene in Gohou Drug where something similar happens to the two main characters.
Disclaimer: I don’t claim to own xxxHoLiC. CLAMP does. I write for fun, not profit.


Written: June 04, 2008
© 2008 - 2024 keitorin
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ShadowHeartHawk-eye's avatar
Thanks for the FF link. I just favorited you there. I'm Shadow Heart Hawkeye.